Creation of my 2010 New Years Resolution

New Year’s Resolution 

After this year, I can think of a few I’d make. Not the usual ones…to stop cursing, quit smoking, lose weight, stop drinking, be kinder to my fellow man, give more to charity, embrace diversity,  burn only clean natural gas, reduce reuse recycle- any one of those moral catch phrases that to share with anyone else would seem commendable. I’m sure every celebrity and multimillionaire on the planet has most moral, medical, political and planet/environment/energy conscious causes covered on a scale that would make a real difference and most of those I try to follow by human nature anyway.

I want to make a resolution that would make a real difference in my life and those of the people I love. There must be one way I can change my life that would make our lives more peaceful, loving, and make every day better than the last. I'm not looking to make the ground shake or make a phenomenal miracle the Enquirer would print, or anything like that. In fact, I wish everyone in my life would make a resolution and do it out of love for themselves and to the people that matter the most to them. I can think of a few off the top of my head that would make a real difference:

Learn to really love yourself and treat yourself as if you were worthy of all the beautiful things in this world that happen to you.

Listen. Really listen to what other people are saying without thinking of how you are going to respond. Listen and imagine what is going on in someone else’s head, hear the words, what’s behind them.  Follow the other person’s communication with a question about what they just said rather than a response about what they should do, or an example from your own life. Let someone else do the speaking while you do all the listening and learn to have a conversation without leading.

Let someone else tell you what they know before you correct them. Hear the whole story and let them fumble. Let them search for words without guiding. Let them learn to communicate. Even if you are the expert; you can teach after they tell you what they know, explain when they are finished revealing all they know – correct the misinformation with love and truth without ever making them feel small. Remember you all received information from someone else. There is not an original thought in the world, or so the saying goes. You all had a teacher; in a person or through life lessons. Learn from and Teach each other.

Protect your children, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, strangers from bullies. But know all the facts before you act. Use your head and your heart – one without the other is never a good combination. Stand up for those who are not as strong as you. Know the neighborhood, streets and your friends’ habits. Be involved in your community and don’t shut yourself behind your door as if you aren’t a part of where you live. Look out for those who live alone and realize the world has changed – in this day and age we are threatened with drugs, gangs, violence, homicide, and all kinds of unspeakable acts against our children and elderly that doesn’t necessarily occur on the street. We have to become the protectors, we need to have the courage to look, raise our voices and ask the hard questions. Teach that silence is never the right answer.

When it comes to an everyday activity, remember that you do not become invisible or an anime character behind a video game the moment you get behind the wheel of your car. Yield at pedestrian sidewalks. When driving on the highway, speed limits are posted for reasons. They save lives. Whenever police pull you over for speeding, you get a ticket. If a camera catches you, it’s unfair – why is that? (I just don’t get that – I think it’s awesome) Don’t try to beat the yellow light. Wait a second before you screech into an intersection on a green light. Don’t just pause at a stop sign. Realize that speed bumps and circles were installed in residential neighborhoods for reasons…PLEASE slow down. Everyone wants to get home from work and see their children or parents or go out with friends or go to sleep…a million different reasons. There are also a million reasons for people running late. Hang up the phone, stop digging through your purse, briefcase, or bags. There are too many distractions as it is for you to take your eyes off the road in front of you. You don’t know what’s going on in the mind of other drivers. You can’t just glance; you could miss that motorcycle in your blind spot.  Patience is a virtue – everywhere. And lack of it, makes you foolish. And might eventually get someone killed. If not killed, severely injured - possibly affecting the rest of their lives. That someone could be you, or your mother, or your child, sister, best friend. When you get behind the wheel; think.

Meditate. Breathe. Pray. Pause. Whatever it is you need to do to center yourself and just stop – do it. Schedule some time in each day to do some thinking – about someone else. Not about what you can do, not about how you feel, not about what you think. Just make it about someone else. Then you can do it for yourself. And that time is just as important. Think about no one – not what they expect from you, not what everyone needs from you, not what you have to do next – just YOU – right here, right now. In this sacred time and space; listen.

Okay, I’ve gotten you started thinking about some small resolutions. And that’s all you need – one small (let’s not use the word resolution) promise that you make only to yourself. That way you don’t have to worry about jabbing or negative talk from anyone else, or having to form a support group. Make little notes in secret places to remind you of the promise you made to yourself. You can even establish little rewards that you give yourself for a whole month of keeping your secret promise…going in late to work one day so you can stop and get the office bagels. Have chips and salsa on the anniversary of two weeks of keeping your secret promise. Taking your family out to a really nice restaurant or preparing a picnic in the yard as a surprise to everyone or just someone special because you were a secret angel to your corner of the world.

Good luck with your promise, and Happy New Year. I’d love to hear from you about ideas, how things are going or any comments you have.

Namaste,

Erin